One worried patient brought a litany of minor complaints. She went into detail about each one, even though she was an otherwise healthy young woman. She was a PhD candidate in humanities and didn't have medical lingo at her disposal, but nevertheless, went on with her descriptions with the vocabulary and manner of speech expected of an academician. When she was finished, I summarized everything, then conscientiously asked, "Is there anything else you'd like to discuss today?" She hesitated for a moment, then replied, "This is a little embarrassing, but..." and continued in the gravest of manners, looking straight into my eyes with no trace of humor, "can you take a look at my asshole?"
July 7, 2008
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6 comments:
You didn't indulge her request... She'll never have the guts to say that to a medical professional again.
Actually, I said "sure" and turfed it to the attending, who went and addressed it with the patient. The patient insisted that the attending take a look, so I think her guts at least are WNL (=within normal limits)!
It'll be your fault if she ends up with a FLK.
I laughed til I nearly had a bladder accident. Can you take a look at that too?
What is FLK?
And why are you treating a grad student at the Veterans hospital?
Of course, the correct answer to her question should have been, "Of course we can look at your asshole. Did you bring him along?"
FLK = funny looking kid. Code for "the patient has a congenital defect," so the unsuspecting next guy doesn't walk into the exam room and get a reflexive look of horror on his face upon seeing the patient.
You totally right, I should have asked if she brought him along.
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