Playing Doctor Can Lead to Uncomfortable Social Situations

I was walking out of Starbucks today when I caught the eye of a guy studying at a table.  I had a flash of recognition, he had a flash of recognition, I briefly hesitated in my step, and my hand was dangling in the air in the start of a wave, when it suddenly hit me why I recognized this man.  I had just been party to examining his testicles last week!  The wave already launched, the hesitant step already cut short, my body already half-turned toward his table, my brain screamed, "Abort!!  Abort!!" but it was too late.  Crap crap crap, I cursed myself and my recognition-betraying reflexes, but it was too late.  I forged on.  He had put down his pen and was standing up to greet me.  In as quizzical a voice as I could muster, I furrowed my brows and said:

"Don't I know you from somewhere...?"  He laughed and said, "You don't want to know...  when I met you I was naked."  The other patrons sitting at the nearby tables were getting quite an earful.  He could have just said he met me at the clinic, or he was a patient, but nooo.  At least he had a sense of humor.  We were about the same age, so that made it all the more awkward.   I felt a lot like those people in the Southwest Airlines commercials: "Wanna get away?"  As I left, I remarked, "Well, it was nice to meet you fully clothed this time!"

Such is the peril of practicing medicine close to one's home, apparently.  I wish they had put THAT into the "Clerkship Survival Guide" Chapter 13:  How to Engage in Social Situations with People Whose Testicles You've Examined.  I could have used a bit of guidance today.

You People

I write passionately about health care coverage, and I get a trickle of comments if any.  I write about assholes and all of a sudden I have six comments in two days.  I see what sells to this audience!!!  ;)  And yes, fear not, I will have more and more stories as the year goes on.  I'm not above pandering.

The Things People Tell Their Doctors

I am now seeing patients.  Patients trust their doctors, and seemingly, the med students that come tagging along.  The trust patients have for their doctors is quite a powerful thing, and a serious responsibility.  It also leads to surprising conversations.

One worried patient brought a litany of minor complaints.  She went into detail about each one, even though she was an otherwise healthy young woman.  She was a PhD candidate in humanities and didn't have medical lingo at her disposal, but nevertheless, went on with her descriptions with the vocabulary and manner of speech expected of an academician.  When she was finished, I summarized everything, then conscientiously asked, "Is there anything else you'd like to discuss today?"  She hesitated for a moment, then replied, "This is a little embarrassing, but..." and continued in the gravest of manners, looking straight into my eyes with no trace of humor, "can you take a look at my asshole?"

Are You Underinsured?

There is much attention (well, of the attention paid to health care, anyway) on the uninsured in America.  There are currently about 47 million uninsured Americans, and rising.  But what about the underinsured?  According to this article there are about 25 million underinsured Americans, adding up to a total of 72 million inadequately covered Americans.  That's staggering!  These are people who have insurance, but not enough.  They pay for health insurance, but when it comes time for the insurance company to cover their expenses, they get shafted.  I consider myself in this group.  How do you measure up?

Learning

I'm back to learning things, and not just stuff out of books.  The month of June we have workshops and lectures to prepare us for being in the hospital starting July.  Last week, we learned how to do pelvic, rectal, and testicular exams on real people.  I always wonder about the people who voluntarily subject themselves to ubernovice examiners.  I've heard they get paid $100/hr for an afternoon of pelvic exams, or $25 per poke for rectals.  I have to say, I personally price my orifices much higher than that!